


Glimmer Of Hope, Heat of Passion

by Two_princes_kiss



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Depression, Heartbreak, Internal Conflict, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Two_princes_kiss/pseuds/Two_princes_kiss
Summary: Zenigata and Lupin accidentally (slightly on purpose) go on a date but they manage to fall to their desires and must now confront their feelings for each other. Of course, honor and Zenigata's job are a big conflict that needs to be discussed between them both.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Zenigata Kouichi
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The "..." indicates a POV switch as well as a fast forward in time. The POV switch from Lupin to Zeni

“Man I’m getting tired of these gifts,” I complained. I opened the paper wrapped box carelessly, destroying the neat white wrapping I knew came from the thief I was so desperately trying to catch. This time there was a slightly wilted rose inside with only an inch of the stem left, a wrapped piece of chocolate, and a neatly written letter.   
“It’s strange how in your letters he has a much lighter, almost girly hand script,” my partner detective said as he peered inside the box. His hands neatly folded in front of his stomach and his posture leaning toward the box with curiosity. The man had a short stature, his olive green shirt tucked into his light beige pants with no wrinkles and looking extremely neat. He was a bit of a stranger to me but I was as kind as I would always be to anyone else, he kept my office very neat as well. My office was a bit dirty always, the once white walls stained yellow from nicotine smoke and years of neglectful paint touch ups. The floor was dull, dark wood that I’m sure was beautiful at one point but is now scratched from moving furniture and years of scuffing shoes.   
“When we find his letters elsewhere it’s much more scratchy,” he continued with his voice as soft as usual.  
“Who knows,” I grumped and held up the flower. I stared into the dark lines where water would flow through it, the petals already beginning to wilt and die. My eyes felt tired, my eyelids heavy and the tiredness of my brain melting through to weigh the skin down over my pupils. The color of the rose melding from detail to blur after a few moments.   
I hardly ever ate and slept even less than I ate, my body grew weak as the days went on, my energy feeling as if it were being squeezed out of me. Something felt so missing from my life, it felt like I was just lurching forward for no reason. I just focused on my work these days, I couldn’t really keep my mind running if I wasn’t zoned in on paperwork and catching Lupin. I would just zone out and let myself die in my bed, starving to death or something. My insides felt dry and the dark green flower stem against my fingertips was numbing.   
I audibly sighed, dropping the flower to the lighter colored wooden desk beside a teal green phone. The surface of the phone was shiny, smooth while the desk was getting a bit too old and threatened to begin splittering. My fingers reached back into the cardboard box to grab the letter and candy, opening its golden colored wrapper and dropping the chocolate into my mouth.  
“Inspector that could be poisoned!” My partner yelped worriedly and I motioned to him uninterestedly, I almost laughed at the reaction but couldn’t muster the energy to do so.   
“He won’t kill me,” I replied in melancholy, “I don’t have a death wish but he doesn’t have one for me either.” It was strange but something about that made me sad, I didn’t want to die or anything of the sort. Maybe I just wanted to know why the hell he cared so much about me, made me feel like shit for always going after him.   
I opened the letter more carefully to avoid ripping the paper inside, feeling the sweetness of the chocolate melting onto my tongue. It was creamy and smooth, a hint of caramel seeping into my teeth once I bit down. My tired eyes scanned the letter with some sort of vigor, Lupin’s big signature on the bottom of the page being as loud as the thief was himself.   
“Dearest Pops,   
How are you, hope you’re doing well! I can’t tell you how much I miss you sometimes man, breaks my heart when you’re gone. Although I may be embellishing a bit, I’ll have you know my life is rather boring during these times when you aren’t chasing me down and around. I also hate to sound like a fetishist or like some sort of weirdo but I miss that little clinking sound of those cuffs around your waist when you’re running. I will be waiting at the bar on Shelby Street downtown to negotiate with you about sending me to jail for taking those emeralds from the Jewelry Museum and Factory place, the name started with a C but I have already forgotten. Maybe we could have some drinks and dinner, can’t imagine you pamper yourself with a nice night out. See you soon inspector!  
Best Regards… “  
Something about all his letters ran such a flirty and playful tone, almost angered me whenever I read his letters. The feeling would feel like a fist, squeezing my throat and down to my heart. The feeling didn’t make me feel anything I could quite identify, I could only describe it as tight and high energy.  
I clenched my fist and hit the desk with one firm knock, the other man in the room jumping a bit from being startled. How could Lupin be so ignorant to think I wouldn’t just cuff him and leave, negotiation being nearly impossible. What does he have that I want? I knew I wouldn’t be able to arrest him and Lupin knew he couldn’t talk me out of arresting him either, there was something else happening.   
“Is everything alright?” The other man asked, shuffling his feet away from me fearfully. The sound of his loafers squeaking and making the old floors creak a bit under the man’s weight, he was a heavier set fellow but I mean so was I he was just shorter.   
“I have places to be I suppose,” I mumbled and stood up, “no idea what time though.” I felt a little frustrated with Lupin for not giving me a time of day to be there, suppose he wanted to leave me waiting and let my impatience eat at me.   
“Will you need any assistance sir?” My partner asked, I suddenly felt bad for the man and how he was being treated by me. He didn’t sound too bothered by the whole situation but it didn’t mean he was perfectly fine with being treated like dirt. I was far from cold and harsh, just a sad man these days and lately I had just been so down my core seemed to be sinking towards my feet. There was no hope left for me to ever be happy again. It seemed like the tunnel was just more and more dark, the kind heartedness and immensely soft heart I held starting to turn to rock or maybe it was just getting far too tired. Work was all I had left but it never made me feel better. At the end of the day, on the days I went home anyway, I stumbled through my dark apartment and just let myself sleep in bed. The sad dark rooms abandoned for nothing but soft sheets, the only thing that seemed to let that sinking feeling settle deep in my bones. I never knew why I felt this way, maybe I was too poor or too hungry. Too tired.   
“I apologize for being so disrespectful to you,” I grabbed the much shorter man’s shoulder firmly, “I really just have had some issues lately and the department hasn’t been doing me any favors. I have little money and I just have been wound up tight with my work.” It was the truth and I felt like a hollowed out log when I treated people this way. I loved my partner, he was kind and young with so much passion for his new job much like I was when I first stumbled into this place. Hope in his eyes and pep in his step, when things were simpler and when I wasn’t 42 with a bad back.  
“It’s okay sir,” he bowed his head, “is there anything I can offer you to help?”   
“Keep the department off my back for tonight,” I answered, “I can do this one myself.”  
…  
I walked into the bar, the furniture and scenery all a honey colored brown due to the dingy lights. I chose something simple but made sure the place had alcohol that wasn’t too cheap. The location was average sized, possibly being some sort of homey restaurant once but now just a chill bar. There weren't a whole lot of people here since it was a weekday, some women who were giggling with their friends or tired men who had just gotten home from work enjoying a quick beer.  
I made sure my posture was confident and snarky as always, chin up and shoulders back while always leaning on my hip when I stood. Confidence was the key to getting your way, how was one supposed to listen if you could hardly believe the words yourself? I peered around for the man I was meant to meet tonight but when I laid eyes on him it did not feel right.   
He was sitting next to a woman, his face looking flustered and his smile shy but for once it wasn’t just the jealousy that molded over my soul.  
Zenigata’s body looked thin and weak, his facial hair looking unattended to, his skin looked like it was losing color. Had he always looked this bad and I had just never noticed, maybe I just haven’t bothered him in too long? No, he was definitely better last time I had seen him. The thing that made him so attractive was that strong frame complemented with a soft belly, something that was just ripped away from him. From me. Hot liquid was flowing under my skin and it burned bright like steel, the envy and hurt creating a painful concoction in my blood. I wish I wasn’t so obsessed with the man who wished I was dead probably.   
I marched over there, trying to fake the previous confidence in his presence. I couldn’t let him know it hurt to see him like this but at the same time I should definitely bring it up in case he’s on a hunger strike or some shit.  
“Excuse me we’re here on important business,” I shooed her away and crossed my arms making sure I leaned a bit on my hip.  
“Right,” she smirked at Zenigata and walked away. He gave off a little smile and I cleared my throat, attempting to break his attention off from her and have him focus on me. I was more important after all, with his whole job and life being centered around me.  
“Glad you could make it,” I tried but my voice didn’t come off as strong as I’d hoped. My whole mood felt crashed and I wasn’t sure what to do, like I was standing in the middle of a dark cloud.   
I sat on the bar stool that had a few tattered holes in the muted olive color fabric, the legs a smooth brown plastic. The bartop is a wood with a thick layer of some shiny clear coating to make sure it didn’t decay and grow into something a barkeep couldn't slide a glass across.   
“Let’s make this clear,” Zenigata began calmly, “I will be taking you to jail no matter what.”  
“If I go to jail it’s for life buddy,” I chuckled, “there is no way I’m going.” I crossed one of my legs over the other, twisting my entire body to his direction.   
“Good maybe it’ll teach you a damn lesson,” Pops grumbled and sipped something from a glass. It was whiskey or scotch or something of the sort, seemed to be a cheaper variety just based on the color. As well as my awareness of Zenigata’s paycheck, as a master thief it was my job to steal documents from the police stations to stalk the beautiful man right?  
“Let’s just talk about you first,” I sat in the bar stool beside him. I traced my finger on the table top and Zenigata peered over in confusion, my voice very obviously in a state of concern. I couldn’t bring myself to fake my emotions, maybe it was the childishness in me.   
“About?” Zenigata answered with a lack of understanding.   
“Are you doing okay?” I asked genuinely, my posture going down and I felt this sadness in my gut. I looked away from him for a moment, peering at the woman from earlier leaving with her friends.  
“I mean I’m normal if that’s what you’re asking,” Zenigata responded carefully. He sounded like he was dodging the question and trying to appease me with a half assed answer.   
“You don’t look like it,” I turned my attention back toward him, “when was the last time you ate or showered, took care of yourself?”  
“I don’t know, why are you worried about it?” Zenigata muttered under his breath and downed whatever was in his glass.   
“I care about you as a friend despite what you might think,” I felt the need to emphasize the friend part, “the assholes you work with don’t and I’d be terrible to not ask if you’re alright from time to time. You also can’t really respond to my letters since I’m not giving you an address.”  
“What are you trying to do, I know damn well I can’t arrest you and I will not quit my job so what is it that you want?” Zenigata tried to sound angry but it came off as more scared confusion.   
I forced a smile, “we can talk over dinner.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the bar, the warmth on my palm feeling all too much like a desperate attempt to hold his hand. I continued to push my legs forward toward a nearby burger place, he muttered some kind of gibberish but never gave off more than a few grunts and sighs of complaint.   
The outside air was nothing but a setting sun and a bit of a breeze, cold enough for a jacket but you would be alright without one too. Those nights where you’d throw your jacket over your lady to keep her warm, insisting that you would be fine without yours. If only…   
“This place is good, let me get you something,” I chattered quickly before my mind wandered too far, “whatever you want. Let me spoil you, dear.”  
“Quit talkin’ to me like that,” he growled as we were seated by a young man with pale blue eyes. The joint was definitely more modern and nice than the bar, a checked black and white floor with white walls. There was a jukebox in the corner where you could pay to hear music and a bit of a dance area where no tables were, Pattie Labelle’s voice fading into the background of my mind.   
“When was the last time you ate?” I asked in a more joking manner, although my heart wrenched at the idea of what the answer could have been. His usually big and soft, but strong, looking frame had seemed to lose its color and warmth. I slid a menu to him across the black granite table with silver lining along the sides, cold and yet the air of the restaurant so warm.   
“A proper meal,” Zenigata pondered, “3 days. I’ve eaten little things, snacks and coffee.”  
“That’s not food,” I said with disgust, “order two things and take some home with you, that’s an order.” My voice was more insistent and demanding than suggestive and caring, I can’t let him know I care about him TOO much.  
“Stop buttering me up let’s talk about this thing!” Zengiata yelled, attracting the attention of a few people. He gave off a shy little laugh, waving them off as if to say ‘oh nothing’ to their worried expressions. It was sort of cute in a way, his coffee stained teeth showing with the small blush of embarrassment.  
“Well,” I smirked as always, “I want you to quit your job.”   
“Are you a moron or are you just dumb, Lupin?” Zenigata pointed at me and I chuckled, pondering the jukebox again.  
“I stole so many records from that one department and it is not worth it,” I rolled my eyes, “I mean really they pay you almost nothing and you get no perks. They’re borderline abusing you man it should be a crime.” I crossed my arms behind my head, raising an eyebrow in his direction.  
“Your one to talk about crimes,” Zenigata snapped but more quietly.   
“Mine don’t ruin people’s lives,” I snapped right back. There was so much emotion behind my voice I couldn’t seem to hide, I cleared my throat to push the patheticness down my throat.   
“You haven’t acted the same either you know,” Zenigata drummed his fingers on the table, “you’ve gotten less harsh to me and yet you still egg me on. I can’t figure out what the hell you want anymore.”  
“Wish I knew,” I said more to myself, “I feel like I’m chasing stars at this point. I can get my wealth easy, I suppose it’s just death from here. Fun adventures and things with my friends but at the end of the day there’s always something missing.” I knew what I wanted but all I could do is let it chase me until I died, let it follow my shadow until my whole world fell between my fingers like grasping water.  
“I hate to be a friend to you,” Zenigata began sarcastically, “but I’d be willing to talk you through it over this meal.”  
“No,” I snorted stubbornly, “I’m convincing you to quit your job tonight.”  
“You are a damn moron,” Zenigata sighed, “let’s just eat then.”  
“Let’s,” I smiled and gestured to a waitress.   
We definitely did not discuss him quitting his job, not for long.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW here but it's just implied there is no detailed NSFW, that's for later in the story. Zenigata and Lupin stumble and stagger themselves over their emotions and feelings for one another.

Waking up in an unfamiliar bed was one thing and being handcuffed to the bed was one thing but both at the same time was a bit alarming to say the least.  
“What in God’s name?” I shouted and yanked the cuff around my one wrist, the metal was warm like it was placed around my wrist for a few hours. I saw a letter beside me on the pillow, I ripped the paper open with quite a bit of struggle. That damned signature…  
“Oh dearest Pops,  
I had such a fun time with you at dinner last night and everything that unfolded after, you’re quite the catch if I do say so myself. Although I’m sure you’re very confused, it is also likely you’ll recall everything after I explain it to you. We went a little crazy with the drinks at the burger joint, telling me to drink with you like we did at the seduction castle place. You told me how great of a time you had with me there, but went on about how you thought I was really funny and all sorts of gushy things that may have raised our waiter’s suspicions.   
We danced for a while and that was a really good time considering you’re awful at it but hey, you’re not the dancer it’s fine.  
The night only continued to get more interesting when I got us a cab, considering driving would be a poor decision with how much alcohol we had drunk. You were really all over me in the cab and our hotel room, you refusing to lay down anywhere that I wasn’t.  
Well an already long story short, we had some drunk sloppy sex and I left when I awoke this morning. I didn’t start the interaction so don’t get any ideas, I just didn’t stop it from happening. Alcohol blurs the whole judgment thing, you know.   
Nothing against you, I just don’t run that type of business. You’re great in the bedroom in case you’re worried about it, any other questions feel free to contact the number under my signature. It’ll be terminated by Saturday at 15:00 this week in case you get any OTHER ideas or questions.   
The cuffs are your own and the keys are in the bed, there will be some money for you on the desk since I know you don’t make any money from those snobs you work under. I know, imagine me caring about you. I also ordered some room service, hopefully it's food you like since I was never able to ask you how you like your eggs in the morning.   
Best Regards…  
The room was mostly barren but extremely messy, my clothes thrown around and bed trimmings disregarded. I could tell this was a nice hotel, something five star based on the size of the place. There was even a little balcony with a big sliding glass door leaving a beautiful view of the city, it was likely the best place to stargaze at night. The walls were a brighter shade of maroon, a gold lining along the top and bottom of the walls and the trim was a light brown. The curtains were white and matched the carpet perfectly, tiles leading to a kitchen to bathroom area of the room. There was a microwave, a mini fridge, a clean white door, and a small desk in front of me with a chair that was discarded near a shag couch on the other side of the room. Likely kicked and forced the side upon entering the room last night, the memories of it all stacking together in my head.   
All I could do is blink, staring at the words and rereading them over and over. It did happen, I could recall everything. I suppose my lack of food didn’t help how intoxicated I had become after drinking last night. I remember my hands roaming and the lights of the bar, weird murmurs and uncomfortable glances from strangers. I saw the discarded leftovers on top of a desk on the opposite wall as me, the paper neatly wrapped around the food.   
“Fuck,” I muttered and rolled my face into my pillow. My heart beat was quick but it felt like time had stopped, the universe giving me the time to retrace my steps. Something sharp stabbed me slightly in the side, upon turning over I saw it was the key to the cuffs. I unlocked myself from the cuffs and removed them from the headboard, tossing them to my clothes that were strewn across the floor.   
I scratched the stubble on my face, it was itchy and I hated the way it felt. I’d probably shave before I left this place if I had the time to run to the store. My skin felt sticky and slightly gross, the room smelled like sex and the theif’s expensive cologne. I stood up and looked through all my things, he wasn’t a petty thief but it never hurts to check. All of my stuff was still here as far as I could tell, a stack of money on the desk with a gold clip holding the bills together. Everyone in the gang had their signature neatly engraved on it, the light catching the solid gold.   
“Holy mother of the virgin Mary!” The stack consisted of 20 dollar bills, $2,000 shouldn’t seem like much but with my streak it was huge. Bigger than all of my work bonuses, even those had been decreasing in amount lately.   
I can’t accept this money, Lupin was warming me up to make me unable to catch him later. What benefit would he get from this besides distracting me? What was his motive and how do I figure out what he’s up to, this was so unlike him. He was professional, he wouldn’t screw up his mission by sleeping with me for no reason.  
I sat back down, sighing and running a hand through my greasy hair. I can’t believe I could go this low, to sleep with him. Even intoxicated I can’t imagine it was just because I needed a casual thing, he had to have convinced me. I just can’t wrap my head around why I would want to do that with HIM, except maybe, just maybe… “I care about you as a friend”  
No, absolutely not. I couldn’t actually be interested in him right? Something in his big excited eyes, small and cheerful with so much excitement for anything. His small frame, bouncy and flamboyant in the way that spoke more than his actual words could. He was so charming and alluring, it was easy for him to get what he wanted from anyone. He smelled and dressed like class, he had a charm to him while still being an obnoxious idiot.   
Maybe I just needed to reflect or I was just in a rough desperate spot, it had been awhile since I got some action. Lupin wasn’t unattractive by any means either, I mean had I taken consideration to the thought that he is a man?   
I just needed to eat and get to work, perhaps I could interrogate him about the whole situation. I couldn’t let myself dwell on what happened the night before, the situation almost made me feel sick to my stomach.   
I tried to focus on the beauty of the hotel room but the walls spoke of such class that just reminded me of him far too much. I stood up and walked toward the large sliding glass doors, the thick warm blankets slipping from my legs exposing me to the pleasantly warm temperature of the room. I leaned against the wall and stared out the window, crossing my arms and watching thick fluffy clouds graze the sky.   
The bright blue sky was easy on the eyes, the sound of cars driving on the road couldn’t be heard and the hotel room was silent. No buzz of a radio or the honking of car horns, just pure silence. I wasn’t used to the sound, I always let the sound of the city take over when I worked opting to open my windows. The silence felt invasive, like hands on my bare legs gripping me to the floor.   
I let myself bask in the vulnerable feeling, far too tired to fight back and far gone from my own mind to even know what I was feeling. I just felt vulnerable like a stray cat cornered by a dog in the dark, alone and unsure of the next step.   
The hairs on my arm stood up, the sound of a knock on the wooden door startling me.   
“Room service!” A small but loud voice shouted, followed by the clatter of metal and glass dishes hitting the carpeted floor outside the room. Right, he ordered me food and knowing him it would be some valiant overzealous thing.   
I turned toward the white door, my feet shuffling past the carpet to the tile and finally creaking the door open. I crouched down and lifted the metal tray with plates and bowls of food on it. There was toast with jam and butter to the side, a bowl of bright red strawberries with some white sugar sprinkled over them, and a few pieces of browned bacon on another plate.   
It just felt so wrong, felt so wrong as I stuffed my face with some of the best food I’d eaten in a while. The two pieces of toast were chewy with the sweet jam spread over top, the strawberries were soft and ripe with flavor and the bit of crunch from the white sugar crystals sprinkled on top, and the bacon was crisp with no burnt pieces. The food was amazingly good for being something someone might call a simple meal but it wasn’t a cup of noodles, it was real food that was hard to stop eating. It felt so wrong to be complying with Lupin’s efforts and just letting it go but maybe that’s what I needed to do to catch him in this case, I needed to do what he wanted to catch him in the act.   
…   
Fleeing was not originally in the plan, there was no plan at all actually. I mean this was far from what I wanted to happen, or was it? I’m not gonna say I regret it, not at all I mean I got to see everything and this time it wasn’t an accident. I wonder how Pops felt though, was he regretful and ashamed or was he suddenly awoke to some repressed feelings toward me. Definitely the latter, although he did initiate the whole situation but my heart being so glued to his face meant I couldn’t find myself resisting at all. The way he was looking and acting, it was likely just a one night stand out of desperation. Although it wasn’t Zenigata’s style to do such a thing, he had a big heart but the way he had been lately showed so many signs of dysfunction. He wasn’t well mentally, I felt a bit ashamed for not letting myself slow the situation and be the bigger man.   
“So explain why I needed to pick you up from a hotel at this hour?” Fujiko complained, her hair a mess and pajamas lacking modesty for public view. Her clothes consist of a washed out white bra, a green denim jacket over it unbuttoned obviously in a rush, and a pair of furry hot pink fleece pants. She seemed pissed, her unbrushed red hair in messy clumps on her head, and her expression being a snarked up lip.   
“I may have made a very large oopsie,” I admitted with a regretful and ashamed laugh. It was about 5:00 in the early morning, I understood the frustration. I myself was exhausted, wanting to sleep and forget about the night before. The quiet hum of music came from the radio, something high energy with mentions of romance. Something Fujiko often listened to, she and I bonded over that type of music often but not today.   
“Like what?” Fujiko groaned and turned sharply on a corner, my body being thrown across the car’s backseat violently on all the turns.  
“Don’t be mad at me,” I started carefully.  
“I’m already mad at you,” she growled and I swallowed cautiously.   
“Well,” I cleared my throat, “I had a casual hookup.”  
“As per usual you horny pig,” she snarked, “sorry continue.” Her voice seemed a bit amused, deflating the intensity in the air but not evaporating every drop of anxious sweat on my back.  
“With Pops,” I mumbled and melted into myself to appear smaller.   
“How the hell did you do that?!” She shouted in annoyance, her palm slammed on the top of the steering wheel in frustration. She turned to glare at me, her eyes dark with fury and her face red with heat. I could almost see steam coming out of her ears.   
“I mean he was all over me,” I defended poorly.   
“He’s gonna think we’re up to something,” Fujiko complained with a loud groan, “how was he the one responsible?”  
“He initiated,” I tried. She knew that my sexuality ran rampant, no bounds and no barriers. My arousal got us in trouble many times before but never this bad, never sleeping with the main rival. I suppose I’m just glad she supports me being bisexual when I got into these troubles, I knew it could be A LOT worse for me.   
“You obviously didn’t decline,” she muttered and slammed the brakes at a light launching me forward.   
“I’m not the bad guy,” I shrugged, “plus I got this.” She whipped toward me and I held up Zenigata’s badge, her face lightening a bit.  
“I also attempted to get him to quit his job,” I sat on the edge of the seat so she could more clearly see the badge, “he can’t get into any place that isn’t familiar with him so if we ditch the state or something he can’t actually come arrest us legally.”  
“Good job for that I suppose,” she mumbled and turned back to the road, “although I’m sure there was a better way to swipe it.”  
“Valid,” I mumbled in shame. My mind raced and I stared at the sky, beginning to lighten a bit but still dark. I wish my feelings would do the same, I honestly just felt this ever sinking weight slipping from my throat to my chest.   
I suppose the weird pent up emotion for him was starting to leak from my pores, I liked to pretend I didn’t know why I cared about him so much but I knew. I just kept it at the back of my head, never to think of how much I really loved him. The only times it came up is if I looked him in the eyes, it made my heart flutter and my knees would feel like Jello.  
His eyes were dark like coffee but shone so beautiful and bright in the sun, when he smiled the corners just wrinkled a bit. His eyelashes are thick and long, fluttering excellently under his shy gaze although I got that glare sometimes, I wasn’t the only one receiving that look. He made faces at girls, me, his coworkers, his superiors although I let myself enjoy those little things. His smile and that proud look in his smirk when he was confident, wonder if I’d ever even see it again.   
My mind often raced about the little things most of the time when I sat with myself, fantasizing about him like some love struck teenage girl. Simply holding hands or just talking over a cup of hot cocoa on a cold day, sometimes other things that were more… embracive and personal.   
“So on a scale from one to ten how bad would it be if I had real feelings for him?” I asked, not to anyone in particular but I did await Fujiko’s angry response. She looked even more pissed when she had unbrushed hair, no makeup, and pajamas on, somehow.  
Fujiko just sighed and slammed her forehead on the steering wheel before lifting it back up, giving off a groan that said ‘how immature could you be?’ since that was her favorite thing to say to me.   
“One time and you have feelings?” Fujiko chuckled.   
“It’s been awhile actually,” I admitted, “two years maybe. I tried not to think about it but I don’t know what got into me.”  
“Don’t let him find out,” Fujiko demanded through her teeth.  
“You can’t confess to him until we figure this out,” Fujiko breathed out more gently to calm herself down.   
“Figure what out?” I asked.   
“Well,” she started, “either getting rid of those feelings or getting him to quit his job. Whatever comes first, although it’s likely not the latter.”  
“That isn’t funny,” I groaned, “I can’t believe I let this happen.”  
“It just happens sometimes,” she said, more sympathy or empathy in her voice.   
“Everyone falls in love. It’s up to you whether or not it’s the perfect one to spend your life with. Do you want to bottle it up for the next 50 or so years?”   
“Of course not,” I sighed and scruffed my hair, “I really wish that I could’ve made it go away years ago.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys talk it over, still unsure where they fully stand and poor ole pops comes to terms with his feelings.

“So what with the Lupin case Zeni?” My partner rang to me excitedly from the phone, his voice coming off high pitched this early in the morning. The sun outside was bright and made my head pound from my hangover, the voice not assisting with that either. It was 9 in the morning but it was still early considering I needed more sleep, I knew Lupin and I had to have been up late.  
“Uh fine,” I stuttered on the phone distractedly. My eyes were scanning for my car near the bar from last night in my cab, slightly smelling of vomit inside. Perhaps someone came in drunk and purged their insides the night before, who was I to care right now.  
I felt somewhat refreshed surprisingly, even with the hangover and stench. Maybe it was the food in my stomach, the shower I took, the fresh shave, the money I decided to keep, or even just getting that few hours to unwind. I could hardly deny that the first time I got to ‘relax’ for a few hours was that time, a moment to just feel at ease and having a good time was having dinner and “relations” with him.   
“I’ll be back at the force in about 30 minutes,” I sighed and hung up the phone. It was imperative I find my car and get going as soon as possible, I needed to get my mind back in the game instead of where it was now.   
Although I could not keep it off my mind at all, there wasn’t a single moment where I didn’t recall the scenario. The rustling of the letter in my pocket, the money in my pocket. Every breath I took there was that reminder of how good I felt when I was with him, purely sexual of course.  
Lupin was nothing more than a slim waist and pretty eyes, that’s it. It’s not anything more than the combination of my bad mental health and a sudden night of luxury, like finding water in the middle of the desert.  
Three days later  
The week had finally ended and I came home, the numb apartment building. The rooms had tan walls but they all looked blue under the moonlight and dark sky. I didn’t bother with the lights anymore, I doubted they even worked anymore. The living room was nice, I had really made the place beautiful but I just didn’t tend to it anymore. The beautiful teal couch and light birch colored end tables were likely caked with a thick layer of dust, the kitchen counters and table abandoned as well. The microwave and far left cabinet being ventured to when hunger struck. There wasn’t much room in my budget for elaborate meals, a few instant meals as well as basic groceries I could afford. I’d buy meat as a treat, fry it up in my nice pans that rarely got used anymore, and toss it in with my instant noodles.   
I crashed down into my bed, I wish I had felt peaceful when I laid in my bed more often. I paid a lot of money for a nice mattress, the bed was comfortable but it was not the comfort I desired. It felt like it was consuming my body, I was drowning in my sheets and was going to suffocate under the press of blankets and pillows. Although tonight was different, I laid down and felt the sink of the mattress under my weight. I curled a pillow to my chest and another sat flat under my head, I pulled my duvet over my bare body and felt myself float on top of the sheets.   
My mind often ran at night and lately Lupin had been the main thoughts that nipped at my brain the whole week. I suppose that was my job, how was it any different than a normal day? This logic wasn’t a cure to my thoughts though, laying there was only bringing the thoughts back. The thoughts didn’t feel bad, there was not a strong feeling of shame. I felt weirdly happy, energized, I found myself caring more about myself. I had been letting myself splurge with my new money. I had stocked my fridge with proper food, I got a haircut and shaved my face of stubble, and I took a bath yesterday.   
I closed my eyes, trying to wrap the warm blankets around my bare body and think about the silky sheets and the way I floated buoyantly on them. There was nothing I could do to distract from what had happened between us and now that I thought about it I’d not recalled the sexual part of the night too often. Of course I remembered it, there was no way to forget that kind of experience and I knew dawdling on the memory was something best left for at home. I suppose that was for the best anyway, but thinking about the emotional element of the night was what made things so conflicting. I wasn’t the type of person to have one night stands or casual hookups, which was another conflicting idea that battered my skull like ping pong.  
There’s no way I like him but why else would I do that stuff with him.   
I tossed and turned, gripping my blankets in my hands and making sure my eyes stayed closed. The one night I was able to get good sleep is the one time I wasn’t tired, endless thoughts racing through my mind. I started to get a bit of a headache, the red lights of my clock letting me know it was now 1 in the morning. I sighed and got out of bed, shuffling to the bathroom to take some pain medication to help my headache.   
I looked at myself in the mirror, the light exposing the sunken and dark parts of my face. The color in my skin has faded as well as my whole figure going from a leaner but chubbier build down to some thin and slightly sickly looking frame. Something about the sight felt so strange each time I looked, the first day at the hotel I looked so awful it almost made me feel physically ill. I seemed to be getting better but not by a whole lot but it had been only a few days, I just needed to tend to myself for a bit longer and maybe I’d get back to my figure.  
What did Lupin gain for doing what he did? I didn’t quit my job and he didn’t get anything from me, he hasn’t shown signs of any plans to do anything soon. He’d come up with more creative distraction techniques anyway, he wouldn’t just resort to showing interest in me would he?   
I hope desperately I wasn’t too awkward or weird, it had been awhile since I’d got some action but from what I remember everything worked out very well. The dinner and drinks we had beforehand were really nice too, although I come out of my shell when I’m drunk I think Lupin encourages me to be more extroverted. He’s like my polar opposite and they say opposites attract.   
“Damn it,” I muttered outwardly. I gripped the bowl of the sink with my hand, the smooth and cold curve was slightly shocking on my warm skin. The lights in the room buzzed and flickered a bit, the constant color of white made the bathroom terribly boring but I couldn’t really do much about that since it wasn’t my own bathroom technically.  
The things Lupin said to me, why does he want me to quit my job? Because of the pay? The way I’m treated?   
“I care about you”   
I couldn’t stand it anymore, I have his number and it’s good for one more day. I should just call him and ask. No that would be bad, he doesn’t care about me like that. There’s just no way and I mean I would look so idiotic contacting him with questions about “where do we stand” like we aren’t rivals. What if we weren’t some day… one day?   
No. You can’t date a criminal and be a cop.  
If you just ask, maybe.  
The light at the end of the tunnel was dim, it was still there but I mean is it worth potentially stepping on a landmine to get to it?   
I sighed audibly and scrubbed my face with my hand, I’d never looked so ugly in my life. I wasn’t ugly, that was the problem, I can’t believe I look like that. I hadn’t looked in my mirror properly for a while, who even was I anymore? Why would he want me when I look like this? Why not when I was looking good and not looking like a homeless man who slept in the rain?  
Fine.   
Just do it.  
I can just put forth any hard feelings toward arresting him, it’ll make me dislike him and I’ll be able to just go for it. Not worrying about him getting a life sentence, I wouldn’t mind it if he just broke my heart.   
And doing it now means it won’t be so wound up.   
…  
My phone rang loudly, waking me up from my sleep abruptly. I lifted the plastic to my ear and yawned, mostly uninterested until I heard that gruff voice.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey Pops,” I smiled a bit to myself, sleepy, “you out of the country or something? It’s late man, you should be sleepin’.” I kinda liked hearing his voice like this, something familiar yet new. I couldn’t help the smile that played on my lips, he sounded a bit healthier than last time I had seen him.   
“I can’t,” he said and winced weirdly, “I mean I just needed to clear some air. I always work this late.”  
“Suuuuuuuure,” I sang in confusion and turned to lay on my back, “so what’s up?”  
“I’m trying to figure out what the hell you’re up to,” he sounded angry but also exhausted. I was a little focused on the very evident lack of sleep Zenigata had to have been getting, I couldn’t take him too seriously at this hour even if hearing him hurt my heart a little. Of course I’d been desperately awaiting this call, staying up late at night until I passed out cold waiting for a ring. I just wanted to know he was okay and I wanted to hear his voice, sometimes I let my hopes get high and imagined a confession of love from that deep and honey soaked voice.   
“Hey man we can do that in the morning,” I yawned, “if it’s work related just go home and sleep. I’ll even go to the station and talk in person tomorrow, you need to be asleep.” There was silence, a thud of the phone being set down, and a few pacing footsteps on the other side of the line.   
“Hello?” I asked and the phone was lifted back up.   
“Why in the hell did you have sex with me you bastard?” He growled quietly, I adjusted my grip on the phone and shuffled more comfortably in my bed.  
“That was forever ago, we're still worried about that?” I joked and he grunted some gibberish.   
“Alright hey,” I chuckled, “I suppose it did seem a little out of character for me. I mean, I’ve never given you those types of vibes huh?”  
“Well that’s debatable,” Zenigata chuckled, “you’re very feminine in character of course but I mean I never suspected me you know? You did tend to have that flirtiness to the letters you wrote me.” His tone was suddenly playful, he was bantering with me as we often did. I could hear a smile on his face and his hand scratching the back of his neck shyly, maybe I was imagining it but the sound of his voice definitely spoke infinite volumes about the way he felt. He wasn’t mad, he was confused, and just maybe a little happy about what happened.   
“You were making moves on me,” I defended sarcastically, “let’s get that clear first. Also, I just talk like that normally anyway I’m always flirty.”  
“I’m just stating what I’ve noticed,” he defended as well. There was silence for a while, my heart felt fast and I felt some sort of thickness to the air. The air you’d feel at a church confessional, almost shameful but somehow good too.   
“Why did you let it keep going?” Zenigata sighed, “why do you keep talking about how much you care about me? Why didn’t you stop me?”   
I took a deep breath, my ribs feeling like they were restricting me. I could just hang up, I could hang up and pretend it was a dream and just ignore it. Ignore it forever. I didn’t want to lie, I’d feel better ignoring it than lying. Admitting how I felt would just be so horrible for the gang, myself, and Zenigata. I’d be ruining plans, I’d be breaking my own heart, and possibly embarrassing Pops who merely wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me.  
“What are you planning Lupin?” Zenigata recovered that bit of emotion he was leaning toward in tone, going back to the angry detective.  
“I think you deserve better,” I stated truthfully, “I want you to quit your job and make a better life for yourself. I want you to just lay back and enjoy yourself sometimes, your happiness makes me feel better at the end of the day. We’re friends right?”  
“I’m in law enforcement and you’re one of the most wanted criminals Lupin,” his voice was like venom. My heart felt still and my jaw locked, my lips pursing closed in fear I would explode with emotion.   
“I see,” I swallowed nervously, “anything else you want to ask me before I uh… stop the whole friendship caring about you thing? Since you don’t want that.”  
“I didn’t say that,” he replied quickly and worriedly.   
“I mean I assumed that’s what you meant by what you said,” I blinked back a tear slipping from my eye. I never imagined things playing out this way, I didn’t think they’d be good but this felt like being slapped on a cold concrete floor naked. I knew what that felt like.   
“I like being your friend Lupin, it just doesn’t work in our positions,” he explained and I sighed, “and that’s why you want me to quit.” The sound of realization laced into his voice, I nodded to myself and felt like all my walls had been taken down. There was a hole in the dam and every bit of water was going to come out, clean and dirty. I was beyond vulnerable and of course my plans to keep my emotions hidden were defiled but the detective, shocker.  
“I want you to quit because that job is awful for you,” I shouted before remembering people in my house were asleep, “my own selfish reason aside, I’d still want you to quit.”  
“Friendship is selfish?” Zenigata asked, obviously unsure how to read between the lines to figure out what I truly was trying to say. Or maybe he was playing dumb, hoping it wasn’t true. I had to laugh, a painful laugh with tears that followed behind it. How could I let this happen? All these years, I was able to hold it all back and everything was fine. I never wanted it to come to this.  
“Zenigata I-” I tried and set the phone down gently. I wiped my nose and eyes, clearing my throat so it wouldn’t crack when I spoke to him.   
“It’s just so much more than that,” I started, “I can’t keep hiding it. I mean all these years of messing with you for no reason haven’t been to taunt you, I care about you. I love you.”   
There was nothing but silence, no sound and I couldn’t hear anything on his line because of my heart beating in my ears. I gripped the phone, I wanted to slam and hang it up. I wanted to take it all back, I shouldn’t have let my feelings spiral and I just should have pushed him away.   
“I think I do too,” he finally said. It startled me considering the room had been so quiet for so long, I hardly believed I even heard it. Maybe I just made it up.  
“You’ve been the only thing on my mind lately and it's brought me nothing but motivation,” he sighed a bit, “I really liked just hanging out with you and I always have but in the end my goal is to prosecute you. I’d never thought of you as more than that for a long period of time before now. I’ve never felt so back and forth about whether I was in desperate need of release or if I really let myself fall for you, I’m not a one night stand type of guy. I’m a man of honor Lupin, I’m law enforcement and I can’t just drop something I’m so deep into.”  
“When you go hungry and work hours on hours of overtime for nothing, think of those assholes who are using you. I can’t stand to think that’s happening to you, with your education you could be a lawyer or something better than this. There’s so much you could do but you’ve been so stuck on that job. Stuck on someone you’ve been trying to arrest for almost no money? You know how fucked that is Pops? You’ve never considered just quitting it all? Has it always been about honor?” I sighed and felt tears pour silently from my eyes, “I care about you. You could do so much better, I have your police badge. You can’t do your damn job until you get it anyway. Meet me at the god forsaken burger place Friday, I suppose around 18:00 would be just fine. I’ll give it back and we can be rivals for good. It’s in your hands now, you know how I feel. Is there anything else I need to tell you?”  
“I don’t think so,” a whisper slipped through the phone speaker.  
“Get some sleep then Kouichi,” I felt a pang at my heart. I was happy and I felt really weak with excitement about him feeling the same way, hence using his first name.   
“You as well Arsene,” he responded. Which made me so desperately want this to be better, so I could be happy about everything that happened but of course I knew what would happen. He would stay with his job, my heart left in the dust to dry out and burn under the sun. I hung the phone up, I just felt my whole body breaking into sobs.   
We were just not meant to be and I knew this day would come, there would be no fairy tale ending because ‘honor’ poured water on the burning fire of pure passion. Maybe the fire will survive, maybe it’ll all be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They confront each other in real life, how saucy and exciting

As I pulled up to the burger palace of hell, I could only feel something hot and pulsating throughout my body. I was highly unsure what the feeling was, maybe it was anger at myself. Although I already knew my decision, I knew what I was going to tell Lupin and my plans were laid in front of me perfectly. My heart beat was fast and I felt like he was no longer butter between my fingers, it was like I got him right in my palm and all I had to do was squeeze my fingers closed. All I have to do is carry him away and he’ll be mine, all mine. This whole horrible life will be over, things will only get better for me.  
I walked inside to smell that familiar burger and fries smell and was seated in a different booth on the entire other side of the restaurant, I found my eyes landing on that booth we had before and my mind wandering. That night felt so special, I can’t believe how alcohol can make you act in such a way, clouding your conscious was never a good idea around someone as charismatic as Lupin the Third. The inside of the restaurant was much more bustling with foot traffic at night as it was more empty than the last time I was here. The smell of beef and fries mingled more strongly in the air as waiters dashed by, I wanted to order a drink to settle my ever shaking nerves but it just didn’t seem to work so well last time.   
When Lupin walked in, I kept my eyes on him. I particularly noticed that he looked nervous, fidgeting with his sleeves as he was looking for me. He had casual clothes that were free of wrinkles and looked rather taut to his frame, tighter jeans and a white t-shirt with a leather jacket over it. I imagined there was purpose behind it due to the way my eyes latched to his body. I looked away from him, feeling the sudden sweating of my thighs and palms. I straightened my posture and turned over when I saw him walking directly to the table, meeting his eyes easily and nodding my head to him gently.   
I knew what I was to do and I was going to do it. I straightened my posture and carefully situated myself in my seat, feet planted on the ground.  
“Welcome Lupin,” I hummed quietly with nothing but business in my voice.  
“Hey,” he smirked a bit but it was shy. When I saw him my heart suddenly felt soft, like it could fall from my chest. My voice threatened to go gentle and my body wanting to lean forward and get closer, ever so much closer. I couldn’t let myself be snapped from reality so quick, I needed to be patient and let my plan fall into place. The final puzzle piece, it was right between my fingertips.  
“Would you like to eat or get on with it?” Lupin asked, he raised an eyebrow with that cocky look in his energy but a worried look deep in his eye. He was obviously uneasy making everything so much easier.  
“I want my badge,” I demanded and stuck one of my hands out. I put my other hand over the cuffs on my belt, ready to strike when he stuck his hand out on the table to meet mine. I watched him fishing it out from his suit jacket, he stuck out his hand across the table and I wrapped the one side of the cuffs around his wrist.   
“We’re going,” I stated with some drama but nothing to bring too much attention our way. Lupin’s eyes lowered, there was no fighting and there was no other response. He stood up, his body slouched in defeat and submission, shuffling to turn away from me so I could latch the other cuff. His uninterested and detached reaction made the whole thing feel less good, it wasn’t as satisfying if he wasn’t making me chase him. He wasn’t resisting or anything, the job was just too easy.  
I sort of hated the sight, the one thing I always wanted to see was Lupin submit to arrest but it didn’t feel right. But there was no turning back, my emotions needed to stay in check. I would not regret this later and I will have nothing but good to come from this arrest.  
We left the burger place once again, this time I wasn’t the one in cuffs.  
…  
I was astonished, I mean I suppose I should have expected an attempted arrest but maybe I did have hope. I had hoped he really felt the same way about me, enough to quit his job, and listen to me. Why would I be foolish enough to think he would think with his heart and not with his job? Maybe the whole thing was a lie and he had been fooling me so we could get to this, was he harsh enough to play this kind of mind game with me?  
The back of the police car was familiar, but this horrible feeling wasn’t. I usually had fun on these rides, bothering Zenigata with my chatter and casual flirting. Just to be safe, I told everyone at the house where I was and when I was to be back and reminded them to be suspicious of anything out of the ordinary just because of all the doubts I had. I brushed them off thinking this wouldn’t happen. I didn’t think I’d be in the back of this stuffy cop car, handcuffed, inhaling the smell of Zenigata’s clothes from the front seat, and heart torn in half.  
“You’re not going to try and escape at all?” Zenigata looked at his rearview and I met his eyes in the mirror, making an uninterested expression and looking back out the window. Of course I was going to not escape a moving car, don’t try and bother to make yourself feel better by making me talk. I was obviously infuriated with him, there was no reason for him to lie to me that night. Or if he was telling the truth, utterly back out last minute to do ‘what was right’. He had hurt me, he knew he had hurt me.  
“I’ll escape the prison and find some way to never see you again,” I mumbled into my palms that I began to rest my chin on. He was quiet, he didn’t want to admit it but we both knew I could easily escape and my hard feelings were very evident in my presence. I decided I didn’t want to see him anymore, he would chase me but I wouldn’t chase him anymore. This couldn’t be fun and games anymore, this had to just be business.   
“Really that pissed off,” he sighed and looked out of the window, “it’s just how it has to be Lupin. I thought about it, there isn’t a way in this world we could be together anyway.”  
“You’re too stubborn to do what you want,” I rolled my eyes, “all you know is do your stupid job and hate your life.”   
“I’m doing what’s right.”  
“I’d laugh at that if my chest didn’t hurt so bad.”  
The rest of the ride was silent after that, he mumbled something to a guy on the radio of the car before silently pulling up to the jailhouse.  
When we finally got to the big, grey building I looked at the scaling of it. A large building just means a lot of people which could make it easier to escape using some sort of disguise, I’d stay here a few days before making my leave. Get my last few reel ins on Pops before cutting all ties with my emotions, leaving them on the cold concrete floor to rot and dry out like a dead rat.   
He led me silently to a room, mumbling to a few random guards some orders and asking for directions through the long endless hallway. He entered an empty room with me, shutting the door behind us with a loud slam that made him flinch just a bit. The cuffs on my hands were starting to hurt from rubbing raw against my wrists, the sound of something sliding on the floor was heard and I leaned to the right to look behind Zenigata’s tall build.   
“You have to dress,” he muttered to me, “turn around.” I sighed, looking up to the ceiling as he unlocked my cuffs and slid them from my wrists. His hands were warm and gentle to me, fingers delicately removing the cuffs and tracing my skin accidentally. He clicked the cuffs back onto his waistband with a small sound, sighing a bit as he did so. I knew this whole procedure, it wasn’t my first time being here but the feelings were never like this. It never hurt like this. Usually I’d crack some joke about seeing me naked or bother him with a boring ongoing story or just ask a 100 questions I knew the answer to. This time it was painfully silent.   
I turned around, my hands out in front of me to be sure he knew I wasn’t going to attack him with something. Even though there is nothing in the room anyway. It was just something I had to do since he’s a cop, sometimes I honestly forget about the whole detective/investigator shtick. He turned his body over to crouch down to the clothes, picking them up and placing them in my hands.   
“I trust you enough to have your humility,” Zenigata bowed his head and turned his whole body around to face the door. He made sure he wasn’t looking at me, something that broke his code as an officer but he trusted me.   
“Sounds illegal to me, inspector,” I muttered jokingly, “that’s a federal offense man. What about honor?” I saw the back of his neck get red and hot, making my smirk a bit in amusement. I may have a shot at getting him out of here with me, maybe I’ll just keep trying to convince him. I still seem to have him under my finger, he still has feelings for me, and I’ll I have to do is convince him to stop the charade. Stop pretending like this damn job is all he has.


	5. Chapter 5

Routinely having to keep an eye on Lupin didn’t help me block the emotions I was trying to dispose of. I’d go relax at my desk and talk to an officer, forget Lupin even existed for a few minutes. My uncomfortable chair and aluminum desk being some sort of safe haven but when it came time for rounds I’d see him in there, slouching and doing something stupid to pass the time. I could only assume the rest were coming for him, when would that be?   
Usually Lupin would leave a note, tell me something, hint at a plan, and I’d be able to catch him but he’d slip right from my hands at the last second. He just sat there on the grey stone floor, sometimes laying on his back with his feet propped against the white concrete brick wall. No words, fidgeting with random objects he had. Sometimes it was a little ball, a piece of paper, a pencil, or just anything he had in that cell.  
“Arsene Lupin The Third,” I called out one afternoon. It had been the second week of him being here and I hadn’t heard his voice once since the day he’d changed out of his clothes, sort of sad to see him shed from the nice form fit clothing into something so scratchy and drab as the beige uniform. There was no bit of flirting or joking, I knew it was all my fault and I had good reason. Lately, I had second guessed my decision and it was probably too late to change it. I got my badge, went back to work, and arrested the thief who had arrested me a long time ago.   
“Yes sir,” he groaned and stood up off the floor. He had a bright yellow ball in his hand, he’d been bouncing it between himself and the wall. A steady rhythm of sound coming from the cell as it hit the wall, the floor, and then his hand. He let it fall to the ground with a small thud before walking to the door of his cell.  
“Uh my office,” I stammered wondering why I hadn’t thought of something to say before calling his name. I opened the door to his cell, he stuck out his hands and I met his eyes with confusion. Lupin rolled his eyes and sighed, pointing to my cuffs.   
“You never call me out on procedure Lupin,” I blinked blankly and I just got another eye roll. I grabbed his wrist tight with my hand, yanking him toward my office, and stomping away out of frustration. He had a bit of a pissed off look but also flustered blush to his face from the surprise of being dragged away so abruptly. I started to walk too fast for Lupin as his pace reached a run with my much longer legs at a brisk walk, my hand around his wrist tight as I pulled him down the hallway. Luckily we didn’t pass any officers or guards, no other prisoners, and once we got to my office I shut the door immediately.   
“What?” Lupin barked impatiently and plopped himself down into a chair, crossing his legs and arms to close off his body language entirely. I locked the door behind me and sat down in my desk chair, still uncomfortable and pitiful as always. The room seemed to be filled with a dark fog, the air felt thick and hard to breathe in with Lupin in here.  
“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” was the first thing I could think to say.   
“Fantastic,” Lupin muttered, “can I go now?”   
“Why are you so upset?” I asked, internally wincing since I really knew the answer to begin with.   
“Oh I don’t know,” Lupin chewed the inside of his cheek.  
“Dumb question,” I sighed and looked around the room for something to talk about. I still didn’t know what impulsed me to drag him here, force him to speak with me, and yet despite the instinct I didn’t have a thing to say. He was the one who always had the words to say and always saw an awkward silence as an opportunity to entertain others but right now there was no sound. I knew I couldn’t ask for another chance even though I wanted it and if he did let me I’d come back to this. My brain would be an endless back and forth between him and my livelihood.  
“I mean if you’re here there’s a lot of time for us to spend together,” I attempted to joke.   
“I can’t believe you,” Lupin buried his face into his hand. There was a sharp sob from Lupin and then there was nothing but silence and occasional sniffles from the smaller man.  
“I’m sorry I’ve had to do this,” I felt so much regret in that instant but I knew I couldn’t just take it all back, “I can’t let a criminal run loose.”  
“Take me back to my cell,” Lupin whimpered, “I can’t play this game with you anymore. I need to move on and you’re making it impossible Pops.” My body wanted to leap from the chair and hold him, tell him things would be okay and that one day he’ll be over it or something better will come his way. I’d wrap around him tight and run my hands down his back, just keep him in a warm embrace like it would all be fine. But I can’t promise that it ever will and I can’t act on my emotions for him, it was against every oath I had taken and every option I had been given.   
“It’s the job or me and you’ve made your choice just please get out of my life,” Lupin looked up at me. My heart sank to my stomach and I felt queasy, his eyes were red and tears were staining his soft smooth cheeks. His hands were a bit trembly and his eyelids were tired, dark bags forming under his eyes a bit. I felt pure hatred for myself because of everything I’d been putting him through. It was all my fault that he was here, looking and feeling like this.   
“Please don’t apologize to me again and take. me back. to my cell.” He pleaded out to me with a look and sound of desperation. I could feel all my weight on my knees, making them weak, my heart was aching and longing, and I couldn’t seem to screw my head on straight.   
“How are you planning to escape Lupin?”  
“I planned on trying to flirt my out as I often do,” he sniffed and wiped his face with a hand, “try to get you off my back by acting as I normally would so I could up and out of here. I haven’t been able to feel right in the head lately so I’ve been trying to come up with something else. No luck of course. I just can’t be normal when I feel this way, the only time I cry is tears of joy at the end of a shitty rom com. I feel like someone squeezed all the life out of me I mean I haven’t talked in a week or two, it’s painful. Especially when my favorite person to talk to in the whole world is here and yet they’ve betrayed everything you’ve ever wanted from them. I suppose that’s selfish though at the end of the day, he shouldn’t have to change his entire life for me and I give nothing back in return. Sorry if I’m a bit chatty it really has been a long time and as of now all the thoughts have just been filling up to the brim.”  
“It’s fine I’ve hated how quiet it’s been,” I tried to deflect the situation, “the guards here are so boring all they talk about is criminals and their wives.”  
“I mean you can’t be that much more fun to talk to all you do everyday is arrest me,” Lupin laughed weakly and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.  
“I lightly indulge in stories about you to avoid seeming over obsessed,” I admitted with instantaneous regret, “I mean I have a life outside my job.”  
“Mm,” Lupin hummed uninterestedly. He unfolded his arms and rested his elbow on his knee, placing his chin into his hand.   
“This place seems like a shitty prison system,” I cleared my throat, “have you had any issues here?”  
“You’re asking me like I’m staying in a hotel,” Lupin rolled his eyes with a small chuckle, “I’ve never not had issues in a prison.” His words seemed to be more relaxed but still cautious, he was choosing them carefully and speaking less naturally. As a detective, I’ve learned how to easily read body language and knowing Lupin as well as I do made it easy to tell if he was even slightly put off at any given time.   
“I’m just not sure what to talk about,” I shrugged and put my hand on my head. I felt the suede around the band of my hat, soft and velvety like a luxurious sofa. Wish I was there with that sofa, not here like this. I felt the weight of everything lifting off of me slowly bit by bit but I knew it would all rush back. I’d throw Lupin back in his cell and things would be back as they were before, I had no more chances but maybe I had a bit of luck up my sleeve. Something I’ve never really quite had before.   
“It’s nice having the AC in here,” Lupin pointed up at the vent on the ceiling, “I mean it’s hot as a brick oven out there.”  
“Glad I could be of service in that department,” at this point I was just pushing out words in hopes that it steered a conversation.   
“Could I be of service to any of your departments in return?” Lupin batted his eyelashes a bit.   
“Considering you admitted to using flirting as a technique I’m gonna have to pass,” I answered and crossed my arms over my chest. It felt easy to talk to Lupin more personally when we were alone, his flirting didn’t make my cheeks burn or my jaw tense like it did when we’d be out and about. There wasn’t this weird feeling of impulse that surged through me, it wasn’t sexual tension most of the time but rather that aching to just do my job. Maybe it wasn’t healthy, maybe I really was ruining the way my senses reacted to situations.  
“You’ve been taking better care of yourself as of late,” Lupin motioned his index finger up and down my frame, “a lot healthier looking since I've been locked up. Maybe I’ll stay forever if it means your head will be screwed on a little straighter.”  
“Straight? My head is far from that Lupin, you would know.” I tried for a joke earning an ugly snort from the other man, he uncrossed his legs and lifted his arms to clap his hands together making one loud slap.   
“You kill me,” he shook his head a little bit, “don’t steal my techniques old man. If it weren’t for you I would’ve leapt out of this place a while ago.”  
“What do you mean?” I asked, that jumping ache settling from my chest to my fingertips. I needed to learn and observe to make a plan to capture him right when he strikes, I clenched my fists in an attempt to just relax and let the conversation stay light.   
“I used my phone call to tell the gang that I wouldn’t be back until I spoke with you,” he began to explain, “after I realized my initial strategy wasn’t going to work with my ever breaking heart I decided I was going to try and find a way to move on. I had been waiting for us to have a conversation properly without me breaking down before I could progress.”  
“And you’re telling me this because?” I rolled my wrist his way in hopes he’d complete the sentence. He stared into my eyes, passionately and thoughtfully. They relaxed in that comfortable and dopey shape but they still screamed with pain.  
“I just can’t find something to drive me away,” he sighed and his mouth went back to frowning, “I may not leave until I get my way. I don’t know whether I want to be stubborn as usual or just let go since both seem incredibly difficult at this point.”  
“It’s also hard to plot things in your head all alone,” he added and wiped his eyes that began to pool slightly with tears over the course of his discussion.   
“I mean I know it seems like I’m beating the dead horse but I really just have to ask one more time,” Lupin sighed and I felt myself on the edge of my seat. I wanted him to just keep talking, exposing his emotions, revealing everything to me, showing me all the open wounds, and telling me all that he could offer me.   
“Will you quit your job for me, someday?”  
...  
Asking him such a question felt like asking a hypothetical, it didn’t feel real or even possible. Even if he did decide to retire or quit and search for another job he couldn’t be siding with a criminal. There would be no life there but if he did side with me, he’d be in danger. He’d be exposed to the media eventually and his association with me ruining his chances at a career, he’d be involved with the crime and the violence that came with it.   
Zenigata traced his pointer finger along the desk, a small sigh exhaling from his nose. He looked down at the desk and back up at me. I clasped my hands together and sat them on my lap, trying to blink away the burning of tears in my eyes. I was ridiculous how much a man could even cry let alone how painful it felt, I felt a headache setting in and it wasn’t even worth it.   
“I’ve been wanting you to ask that again but when you say it to me I just can’t take the next step,” he began, “in my head of course I see myself jumping from my seat and flipping off my boss. When I say it out loud it’s like my ass is glued tight to my chair.”  
“I suppose in your position I understand,” I ran one of my hands through my hair which was dry from shitty jail soap, “in another life right?” I forced a chuckle, the tightness in the center of my ribs becoming a lot to bear. I met Zenigata’s eyes and we sort of stared at each other, no sound other than the deafening silence. There were a million things to say yet nothing was uttered, air didn’t seem to come into my lungs as it was meant to.   
“I guess I’m happy knowing it’s reciprocated,” I tried to make him respond to me, “knowing you never really hated me. I understand though I mean, it’s just business.”  
“That sounds so harsh,” Zenigata said with melancholy, “maybe... just for now.” Those dark brown brows furrowed in thought, his words were scattered and spoked thoughtfully.   
“How would I even go about quitting my job,” he spun in his chair, “where would I go after this? Who would be put on your case? Do you think anyone would be suspicious? Where will you be if I needed to find you?”  
“Tell them about being mistreated and poorly paid,” I sputtered quickly before clearing my throat, “I mean there isn’t anyone better suited for the case anyway if I’m perfectly honest. You work really hard and there’s a million places for someone with a strong work ethic, they could be your good word at any place you applied for. I’ll go to a far hideout, maybe New Orleans on Bourbon Street. It's fun there after being in this dumpster of a building.” There was more silence, Zenigata having a more concentrated but worrisome expression on his face. Could he even reevaluate the morality of being romantically involved with a criminal after this or was that always a lie? He was right to worry about all of the consequences of quitting his job and “running away” with a world famous, high profile thief of who he was supposed to catch in the first place. The door loudly crashed open, Zenigata lifting his expression to something more serious.  
“Sir we could not locate Lupin the Third,” the officer scowled at me for a moment and then at Zenigata.  
“We’re going to the phones in 5 minutes and someone has tried to contact you once already,” the officer grabbed my arm hard. He yanked me out of the chair and clicked cuffs around my wrists, I suddenly realized how long I’d been in this room. Long enough to have six whole mood swings.   
“See you soon Pops,” I waved as I was escorted from the room. I winked over my shoulder and heard an exasperated groan before a final slam of the closing door.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a week of sitting in my seat, glued to the life of misery and stability, and Lupin had already escaped and was a free man once again. I avoided the search to find him and of course this drew suspicion. A week after I spoke to the commissioner at the office and told him I wanted off the case, I was met with the shock and desperate attempts to keep me on the case as Lupin had once told me I’d receive. I ignored every offer but I did not quit, as I exited his neat and tidy office to enter my paint peeling from the walls office I considered my next step. I turned right on my heel, reentered his office, and gave up everything. Guns, badges, cuffs, and I left without a fight. Attempts were made to make me stay; more money, more benefits, less demanding hours, less workload, and whatever else I may have blocked out as I exited the door. 

I gathered my things and told those I cared for that I’d miss them, giving them some of the stuff I had that I did not need anymore from my office. I had given some of them my phone number and asked them if they wanted to keep in touch as well. I’d applied to several places and interviewed throughout the week which had been going really well, still had a few to visit before I decided where I fit best. 

Everything I applied for had been in New York City, one of Lupin’s most visited places as well as a place I had a proper apartment. With my job requiring so much travel I mostly slept in my offices or an occasional hotel. Hotels. I suppose they never really appealed to me in the first place as much as just letting myself collapse on my desk but the one Lupin had bought out for us. Something that screamed money and class, although seemingly like pocket change to someone at his status, it was something much more to me. I’d never been in a  _ home  _ that beautiful let alone a hotel and everything that occurred there seemed to polish the experience even more. 

Time didn’t seem to be moving fast enough, the days were trudging along slower and slower since I quit. I was just a handful of hours from New York by car. After I got home, I’d take the time to go work at my jobs for at least a week before asking for some time off. Then I would travel to New Orleans and find Lupin. During the drive to New York, the car pushed more road behind me and I felt this sink in my stomach, the feelings of doubt setting in. 

The drive was full of anxious feelings that kept me high on energy. There was excitement at certain lengths of the trip and more scared feelings at others, as night slowly crept into the sky I felt the chills of sleep against my skin.

I looked over at the car radio and sighed, squinting at the slight lit up clock saying it was 2 in the morning. I turned my attention back to the road where I saw my exit shine in my headlights, I clicked my turn signal on and headed that way to get back to my apartment. From here it was only a 30 minutes drive and with the lack of cars this hour, it’ll be even faster. 

…

“How long do you plan on being here? This house is so small,” Jigen complained with a cigarette between his lips. He propped his feet up on the tweed ball that was meant to be an ottoman, the couch he sat on was teal. Goemon was seated on the opposite side, legs crossed and sword close to his chest as he floated in his large heavy clothes. 

“When my prince charming busts through the door of course,” I swooned and fell into the space between my two partners. I draped both arms over the back of the couch and crossed one of my legs over the other. 

“And how long is that?” Jigen grumbled once again and ashed his cigarette into a glass ashtray sitting on an oak wood side table to his right. 

“From one hour to next year just bear with me for a while longer,” I groaned and flicked Jigen on the back of the ear. He jumped forward and turned his head toward me, an expression of anger slapped on his face but what’s new? 

It had only been a month since I escaped the prison and told Pops I’d be here. Most nights I sleep light, hopping out of bed at every creak in the house, just waiting for him to arrive. Both Goemon and Jigen told me to move on or at the very least leave this little house, there was only one bedroom so I was on couch duty. Jigen and Goemon offered to share the room, much to my suspicion despite Jigen saying he’d be “sleeping on the floor”. It only took a night or two before they broke in the bed much to my discomfort. I had chosen not to bother them about it at all, opting to listen to music at night and discussing the situation later on. 

I had been truly worried about Pops. I didn’t want to leave in case he did show up, I didn’t want to stay since there was only so much time before we got caught. I made sure I was committing crimes that were newsworthy so he knew we were here and that I was waiting. Something deep in my core was screaming to just stay put and wait like the world could  _ possibly _ be some sort of fairytale. He’d come knocking on the door with flowers, the rain pouring down, and nothing but beautiful words from the most adorable man I’d ever met. 

My brain begged to ignore my heart despite it all, there was almost nothing to favor a happy ending. It had been a long time since we’d talked and I’d escaped the prison. Everytime he ever leaned towards quitting his job, he never did. It was just one of those things that couldn’t happen and would never happen. I tried to keep myself light imagining him arriving to avoid sulking but sometimes as my eyes closed to sleep, I felt tears slip down my face. Most days my chest felt tight and my heart felt fast like my body was ready for him to be here, any second now. 

“You’re breaking your own heart at this point Lupin,” Goemon mumbled, “if you don’t move on soon you’ll drive yourself insane.” I knew this and on the surface it all seemed that way but I so desperately didn’t want to give up either. My love for him flickering bright but my doubt raining harder on the flame. 

“I wanna stay for another week,” I pulled my hands back to my body. I crossed my arms around myself and ran my hands over my upper arms. 

“Just for a bit longer,” I sighed and closed my eyes. I leaned back into the couch and sagged tiredly, I never wanted to be this vocal about how I felt in front of them. It was hard to control but I was at a true breaking point, now it hung heavy in the air. Everyone felt that wince and painful twinge that sat in my heart. 

“We should go out and get some drinks tonight,” Jigen offered with a small grin, “there are lots of gay bars down here too you know?” 

“I don’t know,” I took a deep breath, “I just wanna stay here. Not in the mood.” 

“Wanna drink still?” Jigen gave off a cheeky grin, elbowing me in the side playfully. 

“Sure,” I forced a small chuckle and stood up off the couch. I walked across the hardwood floor to a window that sat adjacent to the couch, glancing up at the sky to see some dark clouds coming this way. 

“Guess it’s gonna rain soon,” I mumbled and sat on the floor. I crossed my legs and leaned onto the window that sat to my chest on the bottom sill, I crossed my arms and laid them flat on the sill before placing my cheek against my lower arm. I watched as cars drove past and people walked with their dogs, smiling and laughing as sprinkles of rain hit their heads. They rushed off to their homes with happiness smeared onto their faces like paint across a canvas, smooth and natural. I sighed and felt even more sadness seep and settle into my bones.

“That’s the same car Pops drives,” I pointed outside and followed the car with my eyes. I followed the muted blue colored Ford Pinto with my eyes as it drove toward the house and then right past it. My heart didn’t bother to flare up with hope this time, it was as if that flame had finally been ignited. Just then, the rain began to pour hard against the window and roof with small  _ pangs _ . 

“Wanna come to the liquor store with me?” Jigen dangled his keys over my head loudly, I turned my head up towards them. 

“Sure,” I stood up and tucked my hands into my pockets. 

The drive was silent for a bit, of course I couldn’t be bothered to sit in silence anyway. 

“So about you and Goemon,” I said suggestively from the passenger seat. 

“What about him?” He responded and turned down the main road toward the main town. 

“You guys haven’t been too uncomfortable sharing the room?” I asked with a bit of a flirtatious tone to my voice. 

“Floor isn’t so bad,” he mumbled somewhat embarrassedly. 

“Is that so?” I hummed a bit, I glanced over to see his face turning a light shade of pink. 

“Was it the noise?” He whispered and sunk slightly in his seat. 

“On the first night man,” I cackled and held a hand over my forehead, “that’s why I leave the radio on.”

“Mmm,” he grunted and parked the car beside the sidewalk. We got out of the car and locked all the doors before walking along the sidewalk lit by streetlights. 

“So is it serious Jiggy?” I cooed and he pushed me, knocking me over slightly.    
“Don’t call me that you fucking idiot,” he shouted as I howled with laughter, “of course it is!”

“Aw how sweet,” I smiled and nudged him with my elbow, “from the sounds it was a little hard to tell.”

“Yeah,” Jigen grit his teeth, “let’s just drop it he’ll kill me when he finds out you know.”

“How come?” I asked and clasped my hands behind my back, walking with a small lean forward. 

“I’m not even sure honestly,” Jigen scratched at his beard, “maybe something about the thing with you and Pops. Doesn’t seem appropriate plus we haven’t been dating that long.”

“I give you guys my blessing,” I smiled, “nothing to worry about from me. I can always project my crush onto you guys or cope by being a little too involved.”

“Just stay out of our rooms,” Jigen rolled his eyes.

“Got it,” I smirked and turned my head to see the liquor store’s lights on. The rain had us well drenched in water but it wasn’t that bothersome, the heat outside was going to be humid and miserable tomorrow. 

The familiar  _ ding _ of a bell as we entered. Perusing the various bottles of spiced rum, wines, whiskeys, scotch. 

“I’m feeling a black out emotional kind of drunk,” I hummed and lifted a bottle of vodka. 

“Gross,” Jigen made a face of disgust.

“I’m not looking for something to sip and enjoy with friends,” I rolled my eyes, “I want to get fucking blasted and cry.”

“Whatever you want Princess,” Jigen smirked, “I’m gonna get a small bottle of scotch for me and Goemon.” 

“I’ll go pick out some sodas from the back,” I pointed my thumb toward the other side of the store. I noticed the bell ringing again as someone else came into the store, hopefully I didn’t get recognized in this exact area too much. 

“A pack of Old Gold please,” a voice grumbled from the front of the store. Those were what Pops smoked, everything seemed to remind me of him. Maybe that’s why I kept trying to hang on, as if all these signs were alluding to him  _ actually  _ being here some day. 

I took a shaky breath and bent over to grab a couple of orange sodas, the clink of glass and then the sound of the fridge door closing. I turned around to walk back to where Jigen was, I noticed he was motioning toward me as if there were trouble. I glanced around the store quickly as I rushed to him, crouching below the aisles and shelves of alcohol. I clenched my sodas in my hand and got close enough to him so he could whisper to me. 

“Wonder if that’s a cop or something,” he mumbled, “who goes out to the liquor store during a storm?”

“Us,” I groaned and stood up straight, “it’s fine.” 

“Whatever,” Jigen stood up too and we walked toward the register.

“I feel like I’ve seen you guys here a lot lately,” the guy behind the counter chuckled as he counted up our items. 

“We just moved here recently,” I leaned an elbow on the counter and motioned my hand as I talked, “you’re the closest place with smokes.” 

“Do you happen to be named Wolf?” The man squinted at me slightly.

“Uh who’s asking?” I stood up and looked over at Jigen who had a hand over his gun cautiously. 

“Guy over there is looking for someone who looks an awful lot like you,” he motioned outside to a taller silhouette walking away. 

“I’ll talk to him,” I nodded to Jigen before walking out of the store casually. I followed behind this taller man, he had a brown raincoat and thick dark hair from what I could see. He had an umbrella over his head 

“Sir?” I called after him, him turning around quickly. There sat high cheekbones and big doe eyes of shock, missing a hat and a uniform.

“Pops?” I blinked to be sure I wasn’t just hallucinating at this point, I heard the footsteps of Jigen rushing behind me and the clink of our drinks. He stood tall but slumped over like he often did to look smaller, he had a black sweater and jeans on underneath the unbuttoned coat. 

“Zenigata?” Jigen grumbled from behind me, we all stood for some reason just in shock.

“I just got here today and this was the first place I thought you might have been visiting,” he had a scratchiness to his voice, “I can’t believe you’re still waiting.”

“Of course I’d wait for you,” I smiled a bit, “I told you I would see you later man.”

“Let’s hurry up before this paper bag melts in the rain huh?” Jigen interrupted. 

“I’ll ride with Pops and show him where we’re staying,” I stuttered a bit, “if you’d like to anyway.” 

“Sounds good,” Zenigata answered and led me toward his car. 


	7. Chapter 7

I felt so flustered walking next to him, he was wet and dripping from the rain. I walked closer beside him so he could be under the umbrella despite him already being so soaked it didn’t mean much. My car was pretty far away, at least a half mile since I had been talking to a handful of nearby store owners. Imagine me doing the same job I had just quit a month ago. 

“You’re gonna get sick,” I commented in attempts to interrupt the silence. Although it wasn’t truly silence but the pounding of rain against the cement sidewalk and the plastic of the umbrella. There was something so peaceful about the scenario, walking with my love in the rain. 

There was so much tension between us, the awkward cloud formed over our heads under the umbrella. We had a lot to talk about but there was not really a place to start.

“I’m sure I’ll be alright,” Lupin smiled one of those friendly smiles. Weirdly fake and anxious looking but something that’s merely a courtesy. 

“So what brings you?” He asked and his smile dropped a little but he didn’t look upset, just casual. 

“You said you’d be here,” I responded and earned a light chuckle.

“I mean are you arresting me or what?” Lupin laughed but it felt dark, then again there was a playfulness as if he knew why I was really here.

“Course not,” I turned to smile at him gently, “I’ve got a job in New York City. I just sit at a desk and look at crime statistics, not having to be involved with any of them anymore.”

“So you're some kind of math nerd now?” He joked and pulled a lighter from the pocket of his jacket, a dull grey color with a soft fuzzy fabric inside. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out as well, sticking one in his mouth and flicking his lighter to no avail. 

“I think it got too wet,” Lupin complained and continued to flick with no spark.

“Here,” I handed him the umbrella and dug through a pocket on the inside of my raincoat. It was miserably hot and sweaty underneath, my hands slick and fumbling slightly. I raised my hands to Lupin’s cigarette that still sat lazily in his mouth and the familiar  _ click _ before the flame began to burn the paper end of his smoke. He took a short inhale and exhale, the smoke hanging in the air before disappearing into the evening. 

“Thank you dear,” Lupin perked up with his usual confidence suddenly, “so how is the job?”   
“Pays a lot better and I get to sit most of the day which is relaxing,” I said with more energy, “usually 700 dollars a week and I just work the usual 50 hours a week.”

“That’s awesome,” Lupin gasped, “that’s a lot of money.” 

“Can finally afford to do what I want to do,” I sighed happily, “go out to dinner and pay my rent on time.”

“Maybe you should invite me sometime,” Lupin winked, “you can pay this time.”

“Sounds good,” I laughed and I watched Lupin’s lips curl a bit in the corners. 

“Right here,” I walked over to the passenger side door.    
“I saw you drive by the house earlier,” Lupin sighed almost dreamily, “I knew the car was yours but I just thought it was someone with the same color and car.”

“Really?” I asked while unlocking the door and opening it for him, he held his hand to his chest in a faux swoon before sitting down. I shook my head and closed the door before going to do the same for myself. 

“Just go down this road and turn there,” Lupin pointed and I buckled my seat belt. He looked at me with slight disbelief and I cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“You wear your seatbelt?” He asked and I rolled my eyes.    
“Yes and you should too,” I reached over and grabbed his belt buckle. I pulled it over his waist and clicked it in, my breath catching slightly in my throat as my knuckles grazed him. He cleared his throat and sat quietly while I started the engine, the rumble of the car muffling with the hit of the rain on the steel roof of the car. 

“I didn’t think you could do it,” Lupin smiled and laid back in his seat. He tilted his head toward the roof, a look of pure relief taking over his form. His teeth worried the cigarette between his teeth like he was nervous.

“I really didn’t either,” I admitted, “I told the commissioner maybe a week after you were gone I wanted to drop and the case but it took me a few minutes to impulsively tell him I was quitting altogether.”

“I understand I mean I know it takes time to completely turn your own life upside down,” Lupin dropped down to more of a sad tone, “especially for someone who barely deserves it.”

“It’s not about whether you deserved it,” I stopped for a beat, “it was about, you know.”   
“Hmm,” Lupin smirked a bit smugly, “I’m afraid I don’t know.”

“You do, don't play games with me,” I grunted and made a turn. 

“Right that way,” Lupin muttered and pointed, “and if it’s that big of a deal just say it.” 

“No,” I grumbled and pressed more on the accelerator. 

“It’s always about  _ love _ isn’t it darling?” Lupin sang playfully. I didn’t know how to react, what to say. I mean it was obvious why I came but I mean what was I to say? I suppose I expected myself to not find him so suddenly, prepare something to say and maybe have flowers. Some kind of romantic gesture that wasn’t too overbearing but also not too tame for someone like Lupin. 

“I know it’s weird or whatever and you caught me off guard but I do want to be,” I started and looked for the right word, “boyfriends sounds so childish at my age.”

“I mean it’s the only word for it, yes?” Lupin continued to make small puffs of his smoke and flicked the ashes out of a very small crack in the window. 

“I mean it’s the most professional compared to ‘lovers’ or any of that sort of thing,” I felt embarrassed. Maybe it was the uneasy water but at the same time there was no reason to say we weren’t on steady water. 

“Take me out to dinner first,” Lupin scoffed, “lover implies sex I would presume and we never properly did  _ that _ .” 

“Oh,” I fumbled and felt my face grow warm earning a laugh from the other man. 

“I’m kidding you can relax,” Lupin shooed his hand at the air, “I’m glad you’re still on board with everything.”

“I didn’t take the leap into the unknown for nothing,” I smiled and glanced over at him. He was looking out of the window at this point, his face happy, and his cigarette almost finished. 

“The orange one,” Lupin pointed at a house before tossing the cigarette butt out the window, “right here. Jigen’s already sped home, I could only assume why.”

“What do you mean?” I asked as I pulled the car into park.

“Oh Jigen and Goemon have been dating for a little while,” Lupin sighed, “I just found out today and I guess Goemon didn’t want me to know since I’ve been all heart broken since the prison.”

“What kind of gang are you running?” I joked and he shrugged as I parked the car, he unbuckled his seatbelt and sighed.    
“A gay one,” he laughed, “I suppose we should talk a bit more before we go inside.” 

“Right,” I swallowed, “so we’re boyfriends?”

“Yes,” Lupin rolled his eyes, “I mean you don’t have to be awkward about it.”

“Awkward is kind of my specialty,” I smiled, “I just don’t know what to say I guess.” 

“I’m really thankful you did all that stuff for me,” Lupin leaned over the middle console, “I promise to return the favor somehow.”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something eventually,” I chuckled and he responded with the same. 

“I hate to be so cliche here,” Lupin pressed a hand to his own chest, “but may I kiss you?”

“Oh I- uh,” I stammered for a moment earning a bit of laughter, “yeah I mean sure.”

…

Our lips met over top of the middle console, soft but somewhat scary. A line I suppose we never had crossed before quite like this, I mean I’m sure we had before in our drunken stupor. There was no gentleness or emotions quite like this, so much pain and fear yet so much excitement. We’d both been waiting, patiently and desperately waiting for us to meet again so we could have a moment like this. 

I didn’t assume I was Zenigata’s first kiss of course but he was seemingly inexperienced. He was not bad but it seemed like he was overly nervous, afraid to really connect. 

Despite it all, it was the best kiss I’d ever had in my life. The way my heart fluttered and smacked hard against my chest, the way it drummed in my ears. Everything seemed like it was a dream. I was beginning to wonder if Pops would even come here, and yet here I was. My lips were pressed against his, my clothes wet from a heavy downpour of rain, and my hands carefully reaching out to find his hands. When I did find his hands placed gingerly upon the center console, I placed mine on top of them. He pulled his lips away quickly after that, I grazed my fingertips over his knuckles gently. 

He had a light blush over his cheeks and nose, mouth curled into a smile that looked rather bubbly with his eyes scrunching at the ends. He was looking down at our hands in a sheepish way. His were gentle but had rough calluses, almost double the size of mine. 

“Thank you for everything,” I sighed, “I love you Pops.” 

“I love you too Lupin,” he said with that beautiful Japanese accent. A lick of huskiness and coarseness to it, nothing more dreamy and breathtaking despite the roughness of the sound. The silence bled into the sound of the rain panging against the roof of the car. 

“We should probably go inside,” I interrupted before my mind traveled too far as it often did. I opened the door and pulled the back of my jacket over my head and rushed inside the building, Zenigata doing the same but without stretching his jacket stupidly over his head. He grumbled about the rain as I knocked on the door, a secret knock that we all had memorized. The door opened and I pushed through Jigen as well as the crack of the door, earning some kind of complaint from the gunman. Zenigata politely murmuring something on his way inside, shrugging off his coat and hat respectfully. 

I yanked my suit jacket and it fell to the floor with a wet  _ slap _ which seemed to horrify Goemon. 

“As much as you gush about this place you seem to plan on ruining the wood floor,” he complained quietly and lifted the dripping garment. 

“If you cared so much you wouldn’t have whined about staying here,” I rolled my eyes and ripped the clothing from his hand, “be welcoming to our guest wouldn’t you? Show him where the bathroom is and offer him some of the alcohol.” I waved my hand dismissively in their direction and I could almost hear the eyerolls. I went to the “laundry room” which was a small doorless room that was hardly wide enough for someone to fit through that was just off the living room/kitchen duo. This was the tiniest home space ever, I should relocate a Louisiana hideout. 

I shed all of my wet clothes off and put them right into the washer, struggling to remove them caused me to huff and puff about the whole ordeal. Once I did finally get them all off, besides my underwear since I’m not a barbarian, I was faced with the cold wet floor where my clothes had dripped on the floor. I ignored it for now and went to my bag of luggage and clothes in the center of the living room by the couch where I slept. I rummaged through the bag, Goemon’s voice blurring with Jigen clinking the glass bottles together all in one small room. I felt like there were eyes on me but I was half naked in the middle of the living room. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bad with timelines so if dates or days are wrong I sincerely apologize. I also write shit summaries so I really hope you like the writing anyways.


End file.
